Setting up a real date online

In this article we explain how you can set up a real date online. We'll also give some advice that can make your first date a success.

Online dating offers many opportunities to connect with other singles, but the ultimate goal is of course to get a real date out of all those contacts. If you want to ask someone out at an online dating site, timing is essential.

When can you ask someone out on a date? Asking someone out on a date can be done much sooner than many people think. In online dating, you have to strike the iron while it's hot. If you get the impression that you're forming any sort of connection with someone, don't hesitate to ask the other if they're up for a date. Or make it more casual by just suggesting to meet up offline.

Acting quickly is also a good way to filter out those people who just want to chat, or who are only looking for online friends. There is nothing wrong with those things, but if you do have the intention to go further than that, it's best to discover as soon as possible whether or not the other is up for that too.

When your question is met with a positive reply, immediately suggest a day and time to meet. Just the promise to 'get together' will do you no good. If someone really wants to see you, he or she will be able to make time for that within a week.

What if someone says no?

Of course it's also possible that someone says no. That's always a shame, but not a big deal. After all, discovering where you're at is always a good thing. Don't forget that online dating is a numbers game. Most conversations you have won't lead to an actual date. This is the same for everyone, so definitely don't take it personally.

Between a 'yes' and a 'no' is a rather large gray area, which you will have to deal with sooner or later. In most cases, you'll get an answer along the lines of: "I'd love to, but...", followed by one of many different reasons. What should you do when this happens?
The best thing to do, is to consider this as a more gentle version of 'no'. It's important to understand that it's still a negative answer.

Perhaps the other person simply does not want to go out with you, but is too shy to be up front about it. Or perhaps this person - like almost everyone at online dating sites - is also chatting with other people, and does not have you at the top of their 'wish list'. It's also quite possible that you are dealing with someone who has no intention whatsoever to actually go out with anyone, or even worse: a faker.

Whatever the reason may be: if someone doesn't give you an immediate yes, chances of going on a date with this person down the road are very slim. So if you receive an answer like this, the best thing to do is to move on.

Where to meet?

Keep it simple
Keep it simple

If you have established a good connection with someone, you will have a decent chance of receiving a positive answer. When that happens, what is the best way to go about the first meeting?

First of all, it's important to not go overboard. Try to keep things light and simple, because it will increase the chance that the other says to him or herself: "Why not?". You don't have to come up with some amazing activity or location, because the other will mostly be interested in meeting you anyway.

Restaurants and cinemas are almost always a bad idea for a first date. In a restaurant you are stuck with each other when things don't go so well as expected, and at the movies you can't even talk to one another.
Simply suggest to have a drink somewhere. This doesn't necessarily have to be done on a Saturday night in a bar. Meeting on a weekday for a cup of coffee is often even a much better idea, because you won't have to deal with loud music, and crowded places where you can't even find a place to sit. This way, you can actually have a conversation.

Always choose a public location to meet, that's easy to reach. Your date will feel a lot safer knowing that they can always bail if the date doesn't work out, or that they will not be in danger if you turn out to be a wanted serial killer. These things do go through the other's mind, so take it into account if you want your date to show up.
And this applies to you too, of course. If your date suggests meeting in an abandoned mushroom cave at full moon, forty minutes from the nearest town, you might want to reconsider dating this person.

Goal of the first date

The most important goal of the first date, is finding out whether or not both of you are who you say you are, and how different you look from the pictures that you used online.
Up until this point, you've only known each other through online conversations, and perhaps a talk on the phone. Although this can be fun in itself, the first date is when you really see the other person completely for the first time. This can be both a positive and a negative experience.

Almost everyone who's into online dating, has been on a disappointing date at some point. This is simply part of the deal, and it's certainly nothing to lose any sleep over, as long as you're always prepared for it. Therefore, it's important not to set your expectations too high before the first meeting. This way, you won't get demotivated if your date doesn't result in anything.

After the first date

But if your date does end up being successful, and you still like each other, a second date is of course the next obvious step. You can do all sorts of things on this second date. A night out dancing, visiting a museum, or perhaps the classic dinner. It doesn't matter too much, as long as it's something that you both enjoy doing.

You don't have to take out your agendas right at the end of the first date to plan the second meeting. Suggest calling or texting the other person, or say you'll talk again online. If there is a good click between you two, these things will go pretty much automatically.

Set up an online date now
(Click to enlarge)

By now you should have a pretty good idea of how to take the step from talking online, towards a successful first date. But before you can take that step, you'll have to meet people that you can ask out at an online dating website. A fine place to do this at, is online dating site

Cupid is a modern dating website, with a large social community. Getting started with online dating is as easy breathing here, due to the many ways to get in contact with other people. Send a private message, and take advantage of the opportunities for audio and video chatting.
Furthermore, offers a downloadable desktop chat program, as well as a mobile app, which can all come in quite handy when attending to your online contacts.

Click here to open a free account at »

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